I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
