what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
