drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
