And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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