how can u be prego again
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
