Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
