My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
