this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
