your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
