Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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