I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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