I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize