I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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