I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Are my feet made of real feet?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
