Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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