I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
