OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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