i just wanna soil my oats bro
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
