he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
