somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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