No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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