ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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