:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
