his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
