:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
