sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize