i permit you to call me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
