I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love you.
Bad choice
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
