you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
