So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
