i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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