hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
