i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
