We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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