Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
