if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
