just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize