so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
