Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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