Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My ass is underappreciated
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
