I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
