The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
