so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize