You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You smell like stripper and shame
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
