From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
