I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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