i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
