The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
