i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
