Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
