She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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