I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
