he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
