Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The best revenge is premature balding
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize