I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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