Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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