I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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