Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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