I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
