don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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