i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
