no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize