Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
