Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if only i could text you this smell
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
