I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
