he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize