On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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