Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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