Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
